1. Wolfmother. I won’t listen to your music because your lead singer looks like Marc Bolan, David Cross, and Carrot Top had an ugly baby and then took a shit on it. Also your music sucks.
2. Mark Cuban. Actually, I don’t hate the guy so much as I hate myself for subscribing to his blog.

3. iPod Killers. It’s not gonna happen, guys. Just try to make a better toaster or something.

4. The Had A Bad Day song. Lyrically brilliant if you’re a retarded third grader.

5. Superman Returns. I hate you for being so much fun!

6. The Gotti Kid look. There’s nothing that says “new money” faster and louder than a spray on tan and the “human-torch” fade haircut replete with a metric ton of styling gel.

7. Andy Rooney. The guy is an asshole because he complains in a public forum. Oh wait. He’s still a fucking douche.

8. Star Jones. Too easy.

9. Malcolm in the Middle. You’re gone! I win! Haha!

10. Stephen Hawking. If he’s so god damned smart, why won’t he fight Uwe Boll?

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