Jayme and I have debated the advantages and trappings of the New York MTA’s recent initiative to bring cellular service into the subway system, and it certainly has its pros (being able to communicate with the outside world in case of an emergency or stalled train) and cons (chattier rides, potential security risks). However, I was unfortunate enough to experience a con so terrible enough to push me into the “against it” camp: “Push To Talk”
The Push to Talk feature some carriers offer is, much like the aforementioned MTA plan, brimming with practical uses. For those who don’t know, it essentially turns your cell phone into a walkie-talkie and you can instantly communicate with members of the same network. It has proved quite useful in business applications where workers are in staggered formation. It’s also the most fuckingly annoying thing on earth when used by a normal person.

*BEEPBEEPBEEP*
“YAP YAP YAP!”
*BEEPBEEPBEEP*
“YAP YAP YAP BACK!”
*BEEPBEEPBEEP*

Riding the N train, I was just lucky enough to sit next to the loudest and most attention-starved woman in the universe, and given that everything else about the situation had serendipitously fallen into place, she had Push to Talk and some buddies! The minute the train emerged from silent subterranean bliss to traverse the Manhattan Bridge, out came her behemoth Sprint/Nextel handset and the beeping and yapping commenced. Loudly. For the whole bridge. And she kept the conversation going as long as she could when we went back underground. Now just imagine that on a crowded train, a symphony of beeping and yapping ultimately ending up in a conversation unfortunately overlapping with someone’s peace and ending up in some kind of altercation.

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