Hi Hollywood,

I’d just like to take a minute to pitch a few blockbuster ideas I have kicking around. If we begin production in January, we can get these monsters out in time to clobber Mission Impossible 3 and Superman.

Tiny Beethovens:

Sojourners from the future crash land in 19th Century Vienna. A miscalculation causes a malfunction splitting genius composer Ludvig van Beethoven into 99 tiny clones!

Police Academy 9: Weekend at Bernie’s 3:

The city’s finest are back in action again, this time attempting to crack an evil terrorist organization - but they will need the help of deceased millionaire, Bernie Lomax who bears a striking resemblance to the terror cell’s leader.

The Cold, Blank Stare of Brian Wilson:

Four twenty minute segments of former Beach Boy Brian Wilson staring blankly off into the distance.

Slut Car Wash:

Loose women wash cars with the assistance of a wisecracking robot with AIDS.

Larry David: The Motion Picture:

Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David plays himself playing himself in a movie based upon a television series in which he plays himself only thirty days earlier.

Full House: Deception:

Michelle is now a freshman at Berkley when she learns a horrible secret: her real father was the drunk driver that killed her mother. Tracking him to Brazil, Michelle discovers she has another sister and the two join forces to battle their father (who is an evil dictator). The rest of the Tanner family follow to Brazil and get into adventures. Uncle Jesse dies at the end in the arms of Joey much like Spock at the end of Wrath of Khan.

More soon.

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