With tha Da Vinci Code all up in the cinemas these days, a lot of people are pissed off and whiny about the whole “Jesus did some fuckin’” insinuation, but while the argument presented in the film (by lineage, the novel and research done via other authors for books preceding it) is compelling, NOT ONCE to they address the issue about the Anglicization of Christ’s image over time. The guy was from Israel during the Roman Empire, and we are to believe he looked like Robert Plant? Don’t think so. In the spirit of revisionist history, I would like to present an all new vision of the supposed “Son o’ God” meant to appeal to those who the Church SHOULD be courting - lifelong secularist Slashdotters, C++ programmers, manga junkies, fanfilm auteurs, and the like.

Children behold, I give you Jesus 3.1:

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