Taking a page from the book of shockingly unawarded author, Robin Oxman, I have decided to collect some of my recently acquired nuggets of knowledge and shower them upon my beloved public.
FACT: MySpace is made mostly out of lava.
FACT: President John F. Kennedy was, in fact, not assassinated as history has incorrectly recorded, rather his head simply exploded due to a birth defect.
FACT: Dolphins hate humans.
FACT: Central Park was built by the Romans.
FACT: Stepping on a crack will not “break your mother’s back.” It will paralyze her though.
FACT: Cotton candy is made out of the dreams of orphans, and every time you eat cotton candy, their dreams turn into feces.
FACT: Bill Paxton is a CG character voiced by Bill Pullman.
FACT: Jar Jar Binks is a real actor, and is beloved in his home country.
FACT: The iPod was invented by Irish poet and statesman, William Butler Yeats.
FACT: Hamburgers can exist in multiple timelines.
FACT: In the original pilot of The Cosby Show, the Huxtable family were Estonian immigrants.
FACT: Scotch tape is not made out of scotch. It is made out of Southern Comfort.
FACT: A cavalry in the Union army that fought in the civil war was the first and only military company to ever be comprised of zombies.
FACT: Chickens can live indefinitely without their heads; they only choose not to.
FACT: Duane Reade employees are actually angels.
FACT: Baseball is played during the summer because the gravitational field of the Earth is at the ideal condition to allow for home runs.
FACT: A horse can break the sound barrier with a few minor adjustments.
FACT: Bill Gates has superhuman strength.
FACT: 90% of all Hollywood films are made on NASA’s “Vomit Comet.”
FACT: A video game of the 1980’s sitcom Perfect Strangers is in the works.

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